When I received my diagnosis, I was super elated. I finally had a doctor who listened to me, and I felt like I was on top of the world. However, I did not think about the long-term toll that POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) would take on my body.

Now, I hate to admit it, but over the last few months, my health has declined a bit. I now find it hard to walk uphill, stand for long periods of time, and after a day out with friends, I spend the following two days pretty much couch-bound.

However, the stigma of being a young, sick person was always in the back of my mind, so I continually forced myself to keep pushing, even though it was hurting me. I told myself and everyone around me that I was fine, despite feeling weak, tired, and sore.

But something good happened to me in the last few months, too. I met someone else who happens to have the exact same diagnosis as me. We are even the same age and live in the same building!

But unlike me, this young lady has a much different attitude about how people perceive her; she regularly uses a cane or a walker, has a handicapped parking sticker, and does everything she can to make herself feel safe.

Being around my new friend has shown me that it is okay to rely on assistive devices and ask for the help that I need. Her “I don’t give a f@$% attitude”, for lack of better words, has been eye opening, and taught me that the stigma surrounding illness, especially invisible illness, is completely arbitrary.

So, after a few discussions with her and my husband, I decided to go “all out”. I ordered myself a walker and some fun stickers to decorate it with, my mom bought me an awesome shower chair, and I filled out the paperwork for a handicap parking sticker.

I have yet to use my walker in public, and admittedly, I am a little nervous. However, when I do need it, which fortunately isn’t always, I am going to try my hardest not to let the stigma stop me from doing what I need to do — it’s just not worth it.

Being chronically ill can certainly be scary, especially when you are watching your body change ever so rapidly. However, there are ways to cope, and for so long, I was afraid of “giving in”. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help and this resistance definitely made things much worse for not only myself, but for my husband and family too.

It’s taken me quite a while to come to terms with my health, but I am finally learning what it means to accept my body for what it is, walker, shower chair, and all.